I’m conflicted to be honest.
I think it might be because I’m hormonal right now and it’s that time of the month…But once again, I’ve been thinking and rethinking my recontracting decision. I had a very good dinner and just a generally good day today with good people. Times like this always make me feel a bit lonely when I think that it’ll have to end and I’ll have to go home.
While I usually do things that I want to do in that moment, I have to keep telling myself that this time, I can’t just make a decision on a whim. As much as I’d like to stay in this country and hang out with wonderful company, I, along with everyone else, must make decisions about the rest of our lives and work towards those goals.
I’ve always felt like my twenties so far has been a lot about being lost and wondering what the next step is. I know many people around the same age as me in the same situation. I know many people older and younger as well. I find myself lucky even knowing just an inkling of the direction I want to go in life and I really believe that it is attested to my own aggressive search for self-discovery and understanding.
I knew at an early age that figuring yourself out was important - I just didn’t realize how much. When you realize the core of your being, is when you have the power and ability to mold and change it. You can become the person you’ve aspired to be and you can become all the good you wish to see in the world.
As long as you start with understanding yourself and then trying your best to understand others as well.