I know what it says in the title, but I don’t think we can even call it that anymore. 

 I got out of a long term relationship recently and either I’ve never known how to date outside of high school, or it’s just changed all on its own in the past decade. It kinda just seems like everyone is using an app or two or three and primarily looking for a hookup or two or three. Tinder. Bumble. Hinge. Coffee Meets Bagel. Grindr. (Mind you, I use none of these. I really just like meeting people in person but I don’t denounce them at all.) I can’t tell if the tech boom and app influx is the cause of all these casual “relationships” or the result. If the population has changed and now has a necessity for these kinds of apps, maybe we all need to step back and redefine what dating really is. If it’s the apps that are changing our perception, then we all need to put our phones down, unplug, and get back to communicating through good ol’ live human to human interaction. Either way, I’m not too keen on our current dating environment today. 

 I didn’t think I was old-fashioned or anything, but maybe when it comes to dating I am. 

“Netflix and chill”
“Come over, I miss you it’s 11pm"
“My place or yours?”

What happened to first dates, dinners, and movies? What happened to getting to know people’s names before trying to get into their pants? What happened to getting to know people, period? Granted, it is partially the fault of those getting courted giving it up too easy. When you give into assholes who are only looking to sleep with you as an end goal, you’re only hurting yourself and those in your position. At the same time, the ones courting should also realize that the profiles you’re playing with are actual human beings and deserve to be treated better than a swipe or an easy bang. 

Yes, be young and live free. Go date many women and men and everyone in between. Meet everyone you can in this vast world we live in. But have some decency to try and understand things from other points of view and realize that sex isn’t all there is to other people. There are much more rewarding things that require proportionate amounts of hard work. Be empathetic. Be virtuous. Be a good person. 

To those at the other end, love yourself. Realize you are worth more than a one-night stand and know that you deserve all the love from the right people. Don’t ever cheapen yourself and don’t ever let things happen for the fear of being left alone. The ones that are worthy will work. They will appreciate and they will find you. Or you can go out and find them. 

You are not the number of swipes you get. You are not your dating app profile. You are not a game. 

We can all help this world feel a little less jaded with a little more honesty.