I baked cookies with some team mates today.
I think I have a little problem with teammates. To be honest, I am not very good at having different types of relationships like professional, academic, or what not. I don’t those many fronts I need to put up in different situations. But sometimes, I feel like I separate my team from my friends.
I know a lot of girls on my team that hang out with each other - only each other. I’m not really part of that whole loop, I hang out with a couple people outside of ultimate. So I guess I feel a little left out. But, to be honest, the relationship I have with the pies and the mo’s is very similar to the teammate relationship I had in high school track and xcountry. Other than the best friend that inspired me to run farther and faster, I wasn’t going to sacrifice myself for anyone else. I don’t know what it is, maybe it’s just my attitude on things? Running was very independent - you were always on your own, fighting for your spot on the podium no matter what your teammates got.
I guess it’s not the same for ultimate; you have to depend on each other. I should really start taking the initiative to get to know people outside of practice and those ridiculously fun tournaments. I like my team, I just don’t know if I consider them friends too. I’m sure I will get to like them more, while all the time competing with them. Even if it’s a different sport, I still want to be the fastest.
Maybe that’s the problem. My competitive nature? Or is it because it’s frisbee? Or maybe my track team just wasn’t part of my inner circle. The track may have been a huge part of my life, but I can’t say the same for my entire team itself. I know some people definitely weren’t on my A-list, but I was neutral for the sake of our mutual friends.
You definitely were not on my good side. I loved competition, but I still made room to allow Brenna, Sammy, Justine, and so many others into my good light. But, there’s something you did that made me disrespect you. That made me mark you onto my death list. Honestly, if I could ever just say it to your face without being hurtful to the friends I do care for, I would tell you that:
I’m glad you ate my dust. I wouldn’t have it any other way if I didn’t beat someone who joined this passionate sport to look for a boyfriend.
You can suck it.