I’m in love with the beach.
There are really only two things on my mind right now, punishment for those who have wronged me and vacation around the world this summer. Really opposite topics, right? Although what I should really be thinking about is organic chemistry and environmental science, all I really can think about is what makes me happy and what makes me angry. Or sad, on that note.
There are some people in this world who should really rethink their morals. Maybe the idiot who cheated on his girlfriend. The slut who had sex with her best friend’s guy. The parent who abused his child. The mother who abandoned her kids. The asshole who got drunk and beat his girlfriend. Or the girl who decided she would fuck up her life with that small little pill.
Maybe I’m not one to talk. As a child I have made my parents cry, by saying things they’ve never wanted to hear. I’ve bullied my brother into losing all of his self-esteem. I abused my dog. I have put my own best friends down. So is it okay for me to preach? Is it okay for anyone?
I don’t know. Maybe it’s not. Maybe I shouldn’t be so bent on revenge and punishment, but there are some people who really need to tell it to my face when they fuck up. There are those people who need to take responsibility for their immoral actions. It’s not that I’m a goody-two-shoes or anything like that. Oh hell no. I don’t only give love to the angels from heaven. You’re a bitch? Fine. A manwhore? Great. But as long as you are honest about your faults, I will never leave you. I will not turn my back on those who tell the truth.
So then, what about the liars, the fakes, the two-faced? There’s this girl that said she was my friend, but she tried to steal something important from me. There’s this guy that said he was my buddy, but he lied to my face and back stabbed me. The funny thing is, they both refused to face their consequences thinking I wouldn’t find out. Well, I did. And you both will be punished until I get over this.
My best friend told me once that she admired my forgiveness. Not to disappoint her, but that forgiveness isn’t granted to just anyone. There are only a handful of people in this world that I believe deserve my forgiveness. To be honest, I am a jealous, spiteful, vengeful bitch. I hold grudges for years. I remember every last detail to the night you let something slip. I remember every rumor, every trash talk, every bully. I remember every lie. Every fucking lie.
Finals are only a weekend away and all I can think about are the things I would be able to do once I get out. Once I am free from these stressful school days.
I want to go to the beach.