By Malcolm Gladwell

First impressions tell you more than you think they do, you can tell just as much from the first 2 minutes or from 15 minutes of a conversation. You brain, your subconscious picks up signs before your intelligence and your analysis do. 

Like in all human-human interaction, you make preconceptions about people and pick up on their vibes and feelings - they usually end up correct, but sometimes our judgement is clouded by stereotypes. Which is why you can find out more about a person by looking at their room, than you do just by meeting or looking at them. For example, the ‘dumb jock’ is a huge stereotype we all still struggle with today. 

It also means that you should be honest and yourself at job interviews - people pick up on little signs even if they don’t know it. 

Biggest indicators of a relationship that will fail in the next 15 years is: contempt. Contempt is unisex. Women tend to criticize and men tend to stonewall, but contempt - when you put someone below you - happens across the board. Couples and people who refused to mollify and make positive reactions, didn’t last in their relationships.

We need to accept mysterious nature of snap judgements, knowing without knowing why you know.

This is why experts and snap judgements are sometimes better than statistical evidence and studies. 

Speed dating has its merits based on these snap judgements - people can have a list of characteristics of their ideal mate, but in reality are attracted to characteristics they didn’t realize. People couldn’t consciously state why the partners they liked didn’t match their lists. 

But occasionally, our brains work against us. Warren Harding looked like a president and looked the part of an attractive politician, but didn’t have the credentials and was arguably the worst president of our history. It proves that everyone has subconscious bias that tends to associate negative connotations with race, whether we like it or not. 

Balance both intuitive and deliberate decision making. 

“Effective leaders make decisions with the best possible knowledge, they don’t drown in the data – they make choices based on fundamentals being correct” - JLMesser

Facial expressions can provide insight into your subconscious. 

Being honest is important.