Something like out of a movie happened to me recently.
It did not play out the way I figured that it would, however, the basic story was cliche all the same. I used to be in love with this one upperclassman my freshman year in high school. I was a hopeless romantic and made it blatantly obvious that I crushed on him. He was my good friend’s brother’s best friend, so I saw him all the time and when I didn’t? I would make an effort to spend time with him and be around him. I’m pretty sure everyone knew that I liked him. He probably knew it too.
It took me a while, but I finally confessed to him and he ended up turning me down because he liked this college girl that was four years older than him. (I think she rejected him because he was too young, although they liked each other). I stopped hanging out with him as often after that and he graduated and went onto college. Probably when I was in my senior year of high school, he ended up telling me that it was because I was too young. I found that ironic since he was dumped for the same reason.
Anyways, we hadn’t really talked for four years after that - just the occasional “how are you doing” and “what’s going on with your life”. I saw him maybe a week ago and he told me that he thinks he has a crush on me. He apologized for high school, said that I had been too young then and it was bad timing, that it would work better now since we were older and more mature. He wouldn’t leave my side all night and kept saying that he liked me.
But you know, I didn’t feel that attraction anymore. I hadn’t liked him in almost 7 years and I was over it. Granted, it was just a crush that I had during my tween years, but knowing that I no longer felt the same way… I could tell it was because I grew up. I’m older now and the experiences I’ve had in the past 7 years changed and shaped me into the person I am today. I know myself better and I look for different things in a companion now than I did when I was fourteen. I’m a different person now.
A person that doesn’t like you anymore.
I only think that I understand and know. My decisions haunt me still.
This is absolutely perfect. How it showed up on my dash like this tonight. I’ve been waiting.
Have you ever had that feeling where you’re dreading for a book to finish because you just don’t want it to end? This one. Twenty-ish pages left and I’m so reluctant.
It’s perfect.