This is why I want to save the world.
Sometimes it gets increasingly harder to remember just what the hell I am doing. And what I am doing it for. Yeah, okay I want to study environmental science. Yes, I love nature and wouldn’t mind living in a tree. Hiking and biking? Bring it on. I know what I want to do, I want to save the world. But sometimes it’s just not that easy. Despite already choosing my path for life, I keep thinking about the biggest corruption to mankind - money.
After getting my own source of income and getting that taste of watching my savings grow, I’ve been getting increasingly frugal and sensitive to considering money matters. I think carefully if I need something and I hold myself back to buying something until I find a deal online. Yesterday, I spent the night at Yumi Yogurt reading tips on personal finance. It was interesting and I learned so fucking much, but why the hell was I investing so much time in something like that when I could have been studying for finals? And my environmental science final, at that.
I haven’t been spending much, what the fuck is up with that? I spend so much. I spend a lot - so where did that spontaneity go? Maybe that’s too extreme. I should watch my wallet, but I don’t want to lose the part of me that lives for the moment, that goes for things on a whim. I don’t want to lose the part of me that loves to live through life’s difficult obstacles.
What happened to the me that despised pre-determined choices? The me that hated controlled lives? The me that always wanted a choice. Is saving the world my choice? Or my pre-determined prison I chose for myself?
For a decade, I have lost my childhood.
I don’t want money to make me lose myself too.
inspiri: quote-book: (submitted by powerofblindfaith)