12.19.2015 - (Not) Dates

I’m thankful for all of my friends and all the opportunities I have to spend time and have fun with them.

Holiday party season is always a great time to get a feel for your friends’ work buddies and environment. I’m grateful anytime I am invited to share that experience with them.

Even if I go just as a friend or as a platonic plus one, I want to always make sure that I’m a good date regardless of what happens throughout the night. It’s not only a courtesy, but a show of respect. I hope that’s something that all us young millennials today can understand. If you’re invited anywhere, as a sign of thanks you should be the best date that you can be. Be friendly and open, talk with their coworkers, and really accompany your friend - they invited you for the intention of having fun!

Of course I’m not saying you owe them anything physically, but at the very least, they deserve your attention for the night.

I’m very grateful for all the parties I’ve been invited to these past few weeks.

Thank you all so much!
Happy holidays :)

12.17.2015 - Responsibility

I asked my selfish mother once if she had to choose between giving up my brother and I or a her new car, which one she would pick. It seems like there is an obvious choice and her answer wasn’t all that surprising. 

To most people, anyways. 

Predictably, she said that she would choose us. (Now I didn’t specify which one of us, but we grew up with the fact that my brother was her favorite since I was always questioning her value as a parent.) A mother choosing her kids over material things makes absolute sense. It’s a given.

But not in my family. And not with my mother.

I was shocked at her answer because I’ve grown up with the reality that my mother loved herself and all her shopping necessities more than she could ever love the beings she herself created. And why would I think anything else? My mother dumped all child-raising responsibilities onto my dad and let him not only raise us single-handedly, but pay for everything including her new car and living expenses even after she rejoined our household. 

He’s raised us from 1998 by himself and put us both through elementary, middle school, high school, and college. We never had to worry about tuition, loans, or getting into debt because he worked 3 or 4 jobs to support us in whatever we did. Granted, he was never home and we lacked a parental figure to guide us, but that was his way of showing his love - by making sure we never had to worry about finances.

So while I do understand that being poor has its faults, sometimes it comes down to: would you rather have a close, poor family or a rich one of strangers?

I was once told that I was privileged. It didn’t strike me at the time, but when I think about it now I’m a little disappointed and offended. Not because that I don’t think it’s true, but because it was in the context that my life was exceptionally easy and that is something nobody has a right to tell anyone else. You should never complain that your life is the hardest. That someone else lived an easier life than you. 

Because you don’t actually know until you have been in their shoes and you never will. 

My brother asked my mother today if she could help pay for his college tuition bill that was due on Sunday. It was only $2500 and would cover half of the semester. It was the first time he had asked her for anything and she said..

“No.”

She’d wanted him to ask my dad for money since it was his “responsibility”, but I had always learned that it took two people to make a child. This is a prime example of how my mother’s actions conflict with her words. And this is why I know that when she says she would pick her child over her new car, I know that she is lying through her teeth.

Parents aren’t perfect, and are far from it because to err is to be human. 

But my mother is no parent. Even today, I still struggle with accepting that not all parents were meant to be mothers. I am in constant conflict because I so badly want to change my mother and make her love me. Make her love us more than she loved herself. 

But you cannot change people. 

You can only change yourself and do your best in your situation. I want to grow up and be someone reliable for my dad and my brother. I want to take responsibility even if I should not have to be “responsible” for my brother. We weren’t lucky enough to have a mother who gave everything for us, but we were so fortunate to have a father who did. A father that I want to make sure I can take care of and help.

My mother may not want to pay for my brother’s tuition, but that’s okay.

Because I’ll be here to do it now. 

Not all people were meant to carry the burden that parents do. But all people can accept the responsibility, if they choose to. 

12.16.2015 - "When Life..."

I was telling my students today:
“When life gives you lemons..”

Iasonas responded “you freeze them and throw them at your enemies.”

And we all just couldn’t keep our shit.

12.16.2015

I finally took a leap and met with a life coach that was two of my students’ mom.

It was a short session, but the biggest thing that stuck with me was what she thought was preventing me from moving forward - fear.

Fear of getting rejected, fear of failing, fear of making the wrong decision.

I wouldn’t call myself someone who was afraid of the unknown, but I was so focused on the future that could be, I never took that first step in achieving it. I would rather fail chasing after what I loved than to be complacent and live in mediocrity.

I want to go into policy and social justice, human rights law. And I’m committed now to taking that first step forward - I’ll take the LSAT next September.

Sometimes all people need, is a little push in the right direction.

Thank you, Camden.

12.15.2015 - Inequality for All

I’ve been writing a lot for my political science class, so I figured that would help for my attempt at writing everyday. For our class, we had to watch Inequality for All and answer questions. This is my second time with Reich’s documentary and I still found it informative and amazing the second time around. I highly recommend it.

1. How important is a flourishing middle class for democracy?
Completely necessary. A thriving middle class is the core of the consumer society that makes up 70% of the US economy that translates to prosperity throughout the world. A flourishing middle class means less inequality and less political polarization and battles of the classes.

2. Why can we compare 1928 with 2008 in economic terms?
Similar times in history. Cycles of a peak in inequality and debt bubbles bursting and forcing the economy into huge recessions. It is cyclic and represented by the pillars of a bridge graphic.

3. Which years were the golden years of reaching equality and an ever larger middle class in the U.S.?
1947 – 1977 were golden years with the lowest rates of inequality and that was because of a large, growing consumer middle class supported by government-funded public universities, GI Bills, and the rise of unions that ensured fair pay and benefits. Wage stagnation was fought with Union membership.

4. Who is the president who started implementing social programs?
Dwight Eisenhower, who many claimed was a socialist.

5. What are some of the reasons that the middle class grew during this period?
Union membership which provided bargaining power and ensured wage proportional wages and benefits, which led to higher standards of living and consuming. The economy boomed and the government invested in public education and America saw its place at the top of the world with an educated, skilled workforce. The middle class was taken care of and the economy thrived.

6. With which president did this increase in the middle class turn flat?
Reagan, when he cut taxes on the top 1% from 91%, 70% to a mere 35%, which most of the rich don’t even pay because of the form their capital comes in.

7. What are some of the specific economic policymaking decisions by this president that resulted in a flat income and ever more difficult to reach middle class status?
50% tax cuts to the top 1%, whose wealth is more than half of America. These tax cuts and trickle-down economics mentality decreased wages for the middle class that cut short consuming, which led to downsizing, more lay-offs, and government reluctance to invest and fund education and destroyed upwards mobility. Reagan also fought unions and fired those that refused to work when their Union bargains were not met. Unions and labor protests were then met with police brutality and force and the rich were allowed to influence government using lobbying and super pacs.

8. Who according to Reich is really to blame for this ever growing inequality?
Ourselves because we allow it to happen and do not educate ourselves in what is really going on. It isn’t about a battle of the classes because a successful middle class means a successful upper and lower class too. It isn’t a group of who is wrong – we are all responsible.

9. According to Reich, at the end of this documentary, is there reason for despair or is there hope for change?
There is a hope for change and politics in the world starts right inside us and in the way that we can change the people around us and maybe our communities, societies, and even the world on a grander scale.

10. According to Reich, what kind of change is needed, and who will be driving this change?
As the 99% we need a voice, and with that voice comes power. We as the people should be making the rules of the economy and of society. We are the change we wish to see in the world. We need to change and educate others in order to start a movement that can change society and fix inequality. We need to fight for our wages and our benefits. We need to fight for a reasonable way to live. We need to fight for the middle class and get together to protest our systems that are titled towards the rich.

12.14.2015 - Star Wars

I’m going to see the newest movie this Saturday..

So I’m finally watching the movies now after a long 20 years of being completely oblivious to the world that is Star Wars. It’s amazing how much of what we say today alludes to Star Wars. It’s equally amazing I never got around to watching any of the movies until this summer when I finally, finally saw the first one.

I really appreciate how amazing the writing and the creativity that went behind everything is. And to imagine they worked this hard to produce something very believable back in 1977 is a feat in itself.

Also, Natalie Portman is a goddess.

I’ll be back to write more about Star Wars, but for now I’m onto the second movie.

May the force be with you.

12.13.2015 - Modern Dating

I know what it says in the title, but I don’t think we can even call it that anymore. 

 I got out of a long term relationship recently and either I’ve never known how to date outside of high school, or it’s just changed all on its own in the past decade. It kinda just seems like everyone is using an app or two or three and primarily looking for a hookup or two or three. Tinder. Bumble. Hinge. Coffee Meets Bagel. Grindr. (Mind you, I use none of these. I really just like meeting people in person but I don’t denounce them at all.) I can’t tell if the tech boom and app influx is the cause of all these casual “relationships” or the result. If the population has changed and now has a necessity for these kinds of apps, maybe we all need to step back and redefine what dating really is. If it’s the apps that are changing our perception, then we all need to put our phones down, unplug, and get back to communicating through good ol’ live human to human interaction. Either way, I’m not too keen on our current dating environment today. 

 I didn’t think I was old-fashioned or anything, but maybe when it comes to dating I am. 

“Netflix and chill”
“Come over, I miss you it’s 11pm"
“My place or yours?”

What happened to first dates, dinners, and movies? What happened to getting to know people’s names before trying to get into their pants? What happened to getting to know people, period? Granted, it is partially the fault of those getting courted giving it up too easy. When you give into assholes who are only looking to sleep with you as an end goal, you’re only hurting yourself and those in your position. At the same time, the ones courting should also realize that the profiles you’re playing with are actual human beings and deserve to be treated better than a swipe or an easy bang. 

Yes, be young and live free. Go date many women and men and everyone in between. Meet everyone you can in this vast world we live in. But have some decency to try and understand things from other points of view and realize that sex isn’t all there is to other people. There are much more rewarding things that require proportionate amounts of hard work. Be empathetic. Be virtuous. Be a good person. 

To those at the other end, love yourself. Realize you are worth more than a one-night stand and know that you deserve all the love from the right people. Don’t ever cheapen yourself and don’t ever let things happen for the fear of being left alone. The ones that are worthy will work. They will appreciate and they will find you. Or you can go out and find them. 

You are not the number of swipes you get. You are not your dating app profile. You are not a game. 

We can all help this world feel a little less jaded with a little more honesty.