Not even sure where to begin, it’s been a minute since I’ve felt like this. 

Unsure of whether it’s the weather or the wine, but it feels like I’m right back to where I started so many months ago. Even though I’ve come so far, there are still days where I can’t get you out of my mind. 

It’s infuriating, always taking steps forward and so many more backward. There are days when I wish I didn’t love so deeply, so unconditionally. It would make moving on easier, compartmentalizing possible.

At the same time, it must’ve meant something that it’s hurt me this deeply for this long. 

From Soy, 

 “That may sound like it’s been a while but if you think about it it’s not that much time at all. You guys dated for a while no? And so during that time you dated he was essentially your best friend. It might be easy for some people to get over a relationship, but getting over your best friend is a while other story.

You just need some time. Theres no formula to calculate how long it’ll take for your heart to heal. Everyone is different and every relationship is different. The way I see it, the longer it takes and harder it is to get over someone, it just means that person was that much more important to you. And if that’s the case then i’d say the relationship deserves all the time it needs to heal.”  

I still miss Kev sometimes. 

It’s been a year and I still miss him sometimes. 

Even if it doesn’t make sense. When you love someone with so much, it’s so hard to not have a part of them with you as you move on. I miss Kev all the time. Sometimes I’m angry about it, and other times I’m sad it didn’t work out. 

Were we that wrong for each other? Or were we right but we weren’t ready to handle it? The part of life where you have no idea is tough, I don’t know how to let go of my future to the universe. But I guess there isn’t any choice. 

Baby, it’s cold outside.