not white enough to be white
not black enough to be black
an ever constant other
why can't I be your brother?

i don't see any like us
in congress, in media, in books
i don't see myself in anything,
and it makes me hate my voice, my looks.

i don't see me,
my identity lacking.
it is our grandparents,
you are all attacking.

i worry for my family
for my gung gung and popo.
for not belonging
in this country anymore.

or did we truly ever?
exclusion, internment, death
did we belong? never.

oh she's asian? submissive?
small, we should fuck her.
(we should kill her)
we're not even considered
people of color.

but even if I choose a different check,
i still fear that noose around my neck.
we were lynched and hanged too,
but that's what they don't teach you.

minor feelings, minor pain
they all add up, to 1900%
add it to the bodies,
the trauma, nothing makes sense.

model minority means we have no place
we fit in nowhere, because of our face.
because. of. our. race.

i'm tired and hateful,
just give me a breather
it's not like I chose this,
I don't want to be asian either.