01.10.2016 - The Definitions of Connection

I’m having a hard time understanding what goes on through people’s minds nowadays when they’re trying to court someone.

I get that as humans we all crave companionship and connections to other people. Even if we’re not looking for boyfriends or girlfriends, we subconsciously are looking for other beings to accept us for who we are and to love us - whatever kind of love that may be.

But today, it seems that we’re fighting and arguing over the names of all these different kinds of loves. Romantic, platonic, just a friend, casual, serious, interested, like, deep, personal.

“We’re just friends.”
“Someone I’m talking to.”
“Friends with benefits.”
“I’m not seeing anyone.”

I already had a hard time figuring out whether I loved someone or not. With all these different layers and levels and labels and pressures, it’s almost impossible to figure out what people are really saying.

Oftentimes, these labels and actions are hypocritical and conflicting. You’re not seeing anyone, but you can turn around and call a relationship exclusive. But it isn’t a relationship right? Just a casual meet up.

You’re just protecting yourself. Haven’t you heard? Love is selfless. So you must be doing something wrong.

People get intimate and passionate. They care for you and tell you sweet nothings. They treat you as a significant other, as a companion. Why is it then, whenever there are labels involved, they freak out and run? Why is it that regardless of how a relationship is going, people refuse to admit the situation for what it is?

Since when did definitions of labels dictate the strength of a connection? When did the complexities of words overshadow the feelings and emotions of a relationship itself.

We should do away with friend-zones, fuck buddies, and all these ridiculous labels that do nothing but stain the honest intimacy that should be love. It’s all about the connections we have with people, so we could all do a bit better by accepting our feelings for what they are and not worry about what society calls it or how it looks. We need to be transparent and clear with the connections we’re looking for and interpreting.

Love is honest, so don’t be an asshole.