When I wake up now, it isn’t to the pitter patter of my dogs or to the movements of my parents in the kitchen upstairs. I wake up in an unfamiliar room to the knocking of my loud, demanding housemate.
The walls are white, not blue. The bed is low, not high. My sheets feel rough and my bed firm. It’s just a little cold, and I’m never expecting the carpet to feel so stringy beneath my feet.
I’ve lived in other places before, but this time living in my own apartment feels significantly different. Even though I also paid my way through rent and expenses on JET in Japan, this time feels more permanent. The thought of being in my own place indefinitely is exciting in itself, but also stressful.
I do really miss my family. That surprised me a bit. Realizing that I miss them barging into my room and asking me to do things early hours in the morning. I miss their bickering and nagging. Their voices. I miss going home and having food already on the table - specially bought or made for me after work. I miss being able to ask my parents about life advice and coming up with my next steps together.
It feels the same with my brother. When we were always together, he drove me nuts. But after he moved out, I realized how much I missed his presence and having him there. I feel like that with my parents and I’m sure they are thinking the same about me.
My mom cried a bit when I was moving out that first weekend. She asked me why all her children were leaving her..
I was taken aback because of our history together, but what surprised me more was that I also had tears falling as well. I guess it isn’t ever easy to leave a family, despite what the circumstances are or have been.
2016 is a year of so many changes - and it will also be the year of so much growth.
I want to learn to stand on my own, to provide for my family, and to work toward a career I am passionate about.
San Francisco? LSAT? Political Campaigns? Boalt and Goldman?
I’m coming for you.