Commuting is fairly difficult.
I mean, I knew that in theory, but driving everyday to north bay is pretty tiring when I’m actually making the trips. It makes me think more about the money and costs of working far away from home and what I wouldn’t do to live closer in the city.
It also makes me feel jaded. Extra projects that I would have otherwise been happy to do, I get irritated just thinking about. I feel the the need to ask for more money or less hours at work because it feels like my days are so long.
But those are really just excuses.
It’s because I’m not completely satisfied at work, as grateful as I am for it. I blame it on commuting or the pay, but really I think I’m disappointed in myself for not having a better living situation. I could sleep over in north bay if I really wanted, but I value my space and my home so much I would rather make the drive. It kind of seems like an endless cycle. I can’t justify paying rent when my family lives in the Bay Area, but I complain about the commuting it takes to get anywhere.
Really, I just need to wake up earlier and sleep earlier so that I can avoid traffic. Or, get a job closer to my house. Or move to San Francisco. Or suck it up and realize that what I have is great, cons and all.
(Also, I really want and need a hybrid car. Been on the lookout for a versatile hatchback that’s reliable and eco-friendly.. So my commutes don’t make me feel so guilty.)
Today might just be one of those sleepless nights.