this is so weird. so very very weird. I have these dumb feelings that.. shouldn’t really make sense. It’s just awkward. very awkward. all these random couples are getting together, and its making me feel different?
I think I am just insanely jealous. Their little sparks and loves are all nice now, so I can only point out the flaws. But I guess there are always flaws in relationships right? I refused to work out mine, even though they were so minor and pretty much non existent.. so I ended up doing the thing I said I didn’t want happening: Flipping regret. But it’s not as bad as I thought it would be. Maybe I’m just stuck on being single. ahahahahah, man I think I just don’t want to lose or forfeit to anyone else so my competative-ness is getting in the way. I probably shouldn’t regret, and I probably really don’t. I just don’t like losing. I think that’s it…
and on the bright side? If they don’t get married… maybe I, no we, can try again. But, I do think that she loves him like crazy and can make him happy as hell. SO i guess it’s all good. She loves him way more than me? Yeh, probably. I really just like chill relationships..I’m scared of getting too serious. I wonder why? I really don’t like getting hurt or rejected. I don’t like getting my heart broken. But then, neither does anybody else.
I just keep thinking though..
I really should have cried.
He meant a lot to me. And I think he still does. That guy really needs to get his ass out there and be happy. :)
…players piss me off though. specially girl ones with big noses.
