01.17.2016 - The One Thing
Sorry for not writing anything of substance lately, it gets a little tough on the weekends when I’m trying to squeeze every last bit of fun out of the days as I can.
I spent a majority of my weekend with this girl that is in my group of friends from high school that I never really got to know. (Did you get that? It was quite the mouthful.) Turns out, we have a ton in common and are both very interested in politics and just worldly issues in general. Over the last couple days, I learned more about her views on everything and where she is trying to go…
But a lot of it was about where we are romantically and the thing that our partner needs to have or else its a deal breaker.
The. One. Thing.
This girl said that she needed somebody who could calm her down whenever she was upset - someone that would understand what to say when and pick up on emotional cues. My friend D said that any girl he dates had to be someone who was intelligent. And he didn’t mean just book-smart either. Intelligent in the sense that they are aware of the world and understanding of everything around her. Intelligent in the sense that she would have wit and be able to keep up in a conversation.
Light bulb: how someone handles themselves in a conversation is pretty telling of their intelligence. You would have to be smart to have banter and good chat; to pick up sarcasm and allusions.
I think my one thing is similar. My significant other would have to be able to carry a conversation about a variety of topics with me as well. Someone who understood most of what I was talking about and be able to debate and challenge me and my thoughts. Someone who was equal.
But that wasn’t what I said was the one thing for me. There’s something I need more than that - growth. I believe that if people have the desire to grow and change, regardless of situation or age, they will be able to. Not all people are open to the idea of change. Some believe that past a certain age, change is impossible. Some are content with simplicity and comfort.
All of that is okay.
But for me, I want to be someone who is always growing and changing, and inspiring others to do the same. I would hope that my partner would be able to challenge and push me in the same way that I would support and inspire them. I want someone that is equal, who can grow with me, change me, and motivate me to always do better. To always be better.
Of course, I hope that this wonderful person would be able to improve themselves because of me as well. Relationships are two way streets. It’s not always just about what you want and what you can get, but what you can give and where you can meet halfway.
May all you single people out there, find the person you’ve been waiting for - someone who has ‘the one thing’.
Nicole Zimmermann photographed by Bleeblu
The 38 Essential Online Shops →
01.14.2016
Just for safe-keeping..
And for future research after I finally watch the fashion documentary Cheska sent me. The fashion industry is incredibly wasteful of resources and detrimental to the environment, so it’s important for all of us to be conscious consumers.
I need less things.
Places to Go
52 Places to Go in 2016 - The New York Times - www.nytimes.com
President Obama’s 2016 State of the Union Address — Medium →
Please watch if you haven’t yet. If not for the content, for his amazing ability to speak and inspire.
01.13.2016 - “It’s because I’m black.”
A while ago, I had a debate with my then boyfriend about the black narrative and the incongruities that came with the color of your skin.
It started when he said he disliked how black people nowadays throw the phrase, “..it’s because I’m black” around like an excuse for their shortcomings and problems. His argument was that instead of making it a racially charged issue and complaining about it, it was really up to those people to change their circumstances and situations. They were using their race as an excuse. That it was lazy to simply complain and do nothing to resolve the issues that cause them to say “it’s because I’m black” in the first place.
If you know me (hopefully by now), you’d know that I argued for the other side. I wasn’t too happy with his statement and I wasn’t sure which position he thought I would take, but I look back on our debate now - with the information and events that have happened since then - and I’m glad I argued for the phrase and not against it.
“It’s because I’m black.”
Historically and holistically, it IS because they’re black. Yes, they do have the choice to try and work towards a solution and change their circumstances. Yes, success is defined by your actions and reactions to the obstacles you face in life. Yes, people with mentalities that believe in overcoming their shortcomings and stereotypes are the ones who get farther in life. Yes, just complaining about the injustice they face in their lives may not change a significant amount.
But it educates. The phrase alone realizes that there is an issue and there are problems with the system. That in many cases, it DOES come down to the color of their skin and that is just unfair. Just by being black, there are higher chances of failing school, incarceration, being victims to police brutality, poverty, depression, self-deprecation, inferiority, health issues resulting from malnutrition and asthma, defects because of environmental radiation and proximity to nuclear waste, the list goes on. The hurdles that colored communities face - and especially black communities - are so ridiculous in comparison to the privileges of the whites (and the males) that the world needs to be reminded everyday injustices happen “because they’re black”.
When you face the inequality of your race and of your identity every second of every day of your life, I think you’re entitled to complaining and in turn, educating those around you about the unfairness of our systems. There are subconscious racial attacks and micro aggressions every day, whether you notice them or not. Blacks and other people of color feel inferior and are told they are inferior, every day. They face obstacles that other people may not have to, and face more and more obstacles, again and again. There’s only so much you can change on your own.
I also find it amazing that the phrase reached mainstream and most people I’ve come across, have heard it. That in itself, is educating and contributing to recognizing the issue. The first step is to accept that there is a problem in the first place.“
Yes, it’s because they’re black. Now let’s all do something about it, collectively.
01.12.2016 - Not Enough Hours in a Day
I had work later today and it still felt like I didn’t get enough sleep.
However, I was able to get my big monthly invoice project out of the way and had the chance to teach a coworker how to use the new system I implemented at work. My 3rd grade teacher also told me that she would selfishly love to have me there for the rest of the year, which technically is only four months away, but also encouraged me to do what makes me happy. So it was nice to feel important and vital to the team.
Especially since I had a horrible Monday waking up to a rejection email from an interview that went well last week. Fortunately, the department I met with felt that I was a good fit for the organization and offered to help me turn in paperwork to the hiring managers of the legal department. But I was feeling too down yesterday to really get to work on anything..
Today I met with my friend Gordon for an impromptu snack and coffee (chai lattes) before my Toastmaster’s meeting. I vented to him about the difficulties of finding a job and how I keep failing at the last minute. He told me to get hungry, and to really want something and show it in an interview. At the coffee shop, the man sitting next to us gave words of encouragement as well when he overheard my job search struggles. He told me to stay myself, and stay the passionate person I was.
To stay present.
This night was just what I needed. Although not completely, I do feel invigorated to work a bit. It helped that my Toastmaster’s meeting went well and was inspiring because I was around other individuals who were focused on personal and professional development. I signed up for a speech and I’ve been thinking about it nonstop since. There’s too much, but also not enough to speak about - I will leave that for next time.
I somehow made it to the gym at a late 10pm, and finished my planned workout by 11pm. That in itself made me feel really good about today. I’m reminding myself to be grateful for what I do have, instead of what I don’t. It’s 12:36am as I write this and the list of things I want to do is running through my thoughts. I still need to clean my room, meditate, study for the LSAT, find a law-related class/program, find a Japanese conversation group, study for N2, watch the documentary Cheska sent…the list goes on.
I oftentimes wonder what I could accomplish if there were more hours in a day.
But then I remember that I absolutely love my bed and my eyes quickly welcome sleep.
Goodnight, world.
Media Racism - Bishop Talbert Swan | Facebook →
Don’t trust the media - always question.
If Berkeley taught me anything, it was to never just take things as they come. Push, and ask the right questions. Figure out the truth. Fight for what is right and not what the media tells you is right.
White People ‘Are A Lot More Blind Than I Thought,’ Killer Mike Tells Stephen Colbert
Rapper Killer Mike said that white people should have worked to address racial and economic inequalities long before recent police killings of unarmed black people focused national attention on the issue.
I post this jokingly, because it’s okay to cry!
Just having a bad day. Hoping the negativity will blow over soon and I can go back to remembering how to be grateful for what I do have instead of bitter for what I don’t have.
“When a person tells you that you hurt them, you don’t get to decide that you didn’t.”