01.10.2016 - The Definitions of Connection

I’m having a hard time understanding what goes on through people’s minds nowadays when they’re trying to court someone.

I get that as humans we all crave companionship and connections to other people. Even if we’re not looking for boyfriends or girlfriends, we subconsciously are looking for other beings to accept us for who we are and to love us - whatever kind of love that may be.

But today, it seems that we’re fighting and arguing over the names of all these different kinds of loves. Romantic, platonic, just a friend, casual, serious, interested, like, deep, personal.

“We’re just friends.”
“Someone I’m talking to.”
“Friends with benefits.”
“I’m not seeing anyone.”

I already had a hard time figuring out whether I loved someone or not. With all these different layers and levels and labels and pressures, it’s almost impossible to figure out what people are really saying.

Oftentimes, these labels and actions are hypocritical and conflicting. You’re not seeing anyone, but you can turn around and call a relationship exclusive. But it isn’t a relationship right? Just a casual meet up.

You’re just protecting yourself. Haven’t you heard? Love is selfless. So you must be doing something wrong.

People get intimate and passionate. They care for you and tell you sweet nothings. They treat you as a significant other, as a companion. Why is it then, whenever there are labels involved, they freak out and run? Why is it that regardless of how a relationship is going, people refuse to admit the situation for what it is?

Since when did definitions of labels dictate the strength of a connection? When did the complexities of words overshadow the feelings and emotions of a relationship itself.

We should do away with friend-zones, fuck buddies, and all these ridiculous labels that do nothing but stain the honest intimacy that should be love. It’s all about the connections we have with people, so we could all do a bit better by accepting our feelings for what they are and not worry about what society calls it or how it looks. We need to be transparent and clear with the connections we’re looking for and interpreting.

Love is honest, so don’t be an asshole.

01.07.2015 - MCE

I had a great interview with them today. I’m hoping this opportunity can blossom and bring me better things.

They say the minute you stop learning at a job is when you leave.

It’s been a while since I learned anything.

01.06.2015 - The Need for Girlfriends

I love my friends, all of them, I really do.

But it’s become more apparent over the years that there’s just this last barrier I can’t really seem to get across. I can’t connect with my friends on a different level because, well, they’re mostly all guys.

There’s just this thing about not understanding exactly where they come from because the experience we have living life as women or men are completely different. As much as I love my boys, there are just some things I will never understand about them because I was born with different body parts and as a result, a different narrative. For example, I don’t really understand the pressures and needs to be masculine because that was never something that I had to deal with. At the same time, they wouldn’t understand the unspoken rules society imposed on me to be feminine.

I mentioned this a couple of months ago.. I complain occasionally about the racist shit I have to deal with when I get hit on, but it never crossed my mind that being an Asian female could actually make romantics easier than if I was an Asian male. Life isn’t easy for the average Asian male, especially one that is short, in this world dominated by the alpha, white man. It’s much easier for me as an Asian female, to cross racial, cultural, and social barriers when it comes to dating. Asian males have to work that much harder to do the same. I feel for them, but I couldn’t ever completely empathize with them. So while I love my friends to the moon and back, there’s big parts of their stories I can’t and never will be able to understand.

They say that women and men can never be friends - that it always becomes something else or blows up in their face.

I don’t think that’s true.

I genuinely believe that I can love these people as much as I love a significant other and yet, never think of them in that way or have them think of me as anything more.

I do also think that I need more girlfriends. And it’s exactly because I want to share and relate the experiences I have walking through life as a woman. As an Asian millennial. I need more girlfriends to talk about sexism, feminism, racism, glass ceilings, bamboo ceilings, politics, rape, empowerment, conscious fashion, health, children with. I need inspiring women in my life.

That’s why the two big resolutions I have this year are: realize where people are coming from and put myself in their shoes to try to understand their stories (like my guy friends) and to connect and invest in empowered women in my life.

I want to surround myself with amazing, independent women who will love and support me as much as my boys have. In turn, I want to be able to do the same for all of them because there is no greater friendship than the ones where you push each other to grow.

And maybe, just maybe… if I can find and connect a bunch of wonderful women, they’ll be able to fall in love with all my guy friends as well.

That would literally be the best social circle of my life.

I love you, guys.
(Even though you forgot to tell me about BROTLAND.)

And to the girls, I can’t wait to meet you and for you all to meet each other.

We've Got Resolutions All Wrong

Interesting. Instead of giving yourself resolutions and goals, it may be more effective if you change your lifestyle and environment instead.

You want to work out more? Start biking to school or taking the long way and walk to work.

Drink more water? Get a water bottle so that it’s always accessible.

So on and so forth.

01.04.2016 - Resolutions Additions

After talking a bit about resolutions with my friend today, I realized I wanted to add a few more tangible tasks to my list as well. She really inspired me to add most of these. 

1. Realize that when you are offended, it isn’t necessarily a personal attack, but a result of insecurity or animosity because of people’s situations. Perceive past the surface and try to understand why they think and act the way they do, with a little patience. Let things go and see it as an opportunity to spread awareness.
2. Meditate, write, and read the news everyday.
3. Exercise at least 4x a week (Hot Yoga on Wednesdays)
4. Create art more often, at least once a week.
5. Be grateful, be kind, be compassionate. Every single day. 

My additions:

6. Make an effort to cherish the strong, independent women in my life who inspire and support me. I want to connect them to each other and create a community of positive interaction that would foster intelligent debates and personal/professional development.   

7. Educate myself more deeply about the issues I care about. Don’t let my knowledge remain shallow or else I will not and cannot change the ignorance in the world. 

8. Find an NPO/NGO with a mission that I believe in and hone in on my communication, public speaking, and presentation skills so that I can contribute to a cause that I care about and work for an organization that I love. 

9. Study and kill it at the LSAT. 

At Stake in 2016: Ending the Vicious Cycle of Wealth and Power

robertreich:

What’s at stake this election year? Let me put as directly as I can.

America has succumbed to a vicious cycle in which great wealth translates into political power, which generates even more wealth, and even more power.

This spiral is most apparent is declining tax rates on corporations and on top personal incomes (much in the form of wider tax loopholes), along with a profusion of government bailouts and subsidies (to Wall Street bankers, hedge-fund partners, oil companies, casino tycoons, and giant agribusiness owners, among others).

The vicious cycle of wealth and power is less apparent, but even more significant, in economic rules that now favor the wealthy.

Billionaires like Donald Trump can use bankruptcy to escape debts but average people can’t get relief from burdensome mortgage or student debt payments.

Giant corporations can amass market power without facing antitrust lawsuits (think Internet cable companies, Monsanto, Big Pharma, consolidations of health insurers and of health care corporations, Dow and DuPont, and the growing dominance of Amazon, Apple, and Google, for example). 

But average workers have lost the market power that came from joining together in unions.

It’s now easier for Wall Street insiders to profit from confidential information unavailable to small investors.

It’s also easier for giant firms to extend the length of patents and copyrights, thereby pushing up prices on everything from pharmaceuticals to Walt Disney merchandise.  

And easier for big corporations to wangle trade treaties that protect their foreign assets but not the jobs or incomes of American workers.  

It’s easier for giant military contractors to secure huge appropriations for unnecessary weapons, and to keep the war machine going.

The result of this vicious cycle is a disenfranchisement of most Americans, and a giant upward distribution of income from the middle class and poor to the wealthy and powerful.

Another consequence is growing anger and frustration felt by people who are working harder than ever but getting nowhere, accompanied by deepening cynicism about our democracy.

The way to end this vicious cycle is to reduce the huge accumulations of wealth that fuel it, and get big money out of politics. 

But it’s chicken-and-egg problem. How can this be accomplished when wealth and power are compounding at the top? 

Only through a political movement such as America had a century ago when progressives reclaimed our economy and democracy from the robber barons of the first Gilded Age.

That was when Wisconsin’s “fighting Bob” La Follette instituted the nation’s first minimum wage law; presidential candidate William Jennings Bryan attacked the big railroads, giant banks, and insurance companies; and President Teddy Roosevelt busted up the giant trusts.

When suffragettes like Susan B. Anthony secured women the right to vote, reformers like Jane Addams got laws protecting children and the public’s health, and organizers like Mary Harris “Mother” Jones spearheaded labor unions.

America enacted a progressive income tax, limited corporate campaign contributions, ensured the safety and purity of food and drugs, and even invented the public high school.

The progressive era welled up in the last decade of the nineteenth century because millions of Americans saw that wealth and power at the top were undermining American democracy and stacking the economic deck. Millions of Americans overcame their cynicism and began to mobilize.

We may have reached that tipping point again.

Both the Occupy Movement and the Tea Party grew out of revulsion at the Wall Street bailout. Consider, more recently, the fight for a higher minimum wage (“Fight for 15”). 

Bernie Sander’s presidential campaign is part of this mobilization. (Donald Trump bastardized version draws on the same anger and frustration but has descended into bigotry and xenophobia.)

Surely 2016 is a critical year. But, as the reformers of the Progressive Era understood more than a century ago, no single president or any other politician can accomplish what’s needed because a system caught in the spiral of wealth and power cannot be reformed from within. It can be changed only by a mass movement of citizens pushing from the outside.

So regardless of who wins the presidency in November and which party dominates the next Congress, it is up to the rest of us to continue to organize and mobilize. Real reform will require many years of hard work from millions of us.

As we learned in the last progressive era, this is the only way the vicious cycle of wealth and power can be reversed.