To My Forever Friend, This Is My Lifelong Vow To You
Y sent me this while she was traveling abroad in Thailand and it honestly is the sweetest thing I’ve read this week.
We’re very, very different. Although we had more commonalities when we were growing up, in our late twenties now, we couldn’t be more opposite. She’s extremely shy and introverted, I’m extremely extroverted. She’s feminine, I’m not girly. She was an only child, I have a younger brother. She played basketball, and I hated it. She doesn’t like to drink or party, and I absolutely adore wine. She likes one on ones and small groups, my energy thrives on parties and meeting new people. She has trouble saying how she feels, I have trouble shutting up. She likes to go to Hello Kitty cafes, and I’m more of a street food, hole-in-the-wall person. She gets anxious going off on her own, and I frequently run off on solo backpacking trips.
We talk about it all the time: how if we had met today, we most likely wouldn’t be friends.
When you are so, so different, your relationship could be very strained and incredibly difficult to maintain. When two people struggle and struggle to connect because they are on opposite sides of the spectrum, it is oftentimes easier to quit altogether. To not be friends because of the work and the effort it takes to stay friends. There are times when we disagree, times when we butt heads. We’ve hurt each other and had hours of long talks about not understanding the other, right and wrong, our perceptions, misaligned values.
But at the end of the day, I know that at the core of our friendship - there is only love.
As hard as the conversation can be sometimes, I will put in the emotional labor and the time to talk it out because I respect her and I value her, if not more so because of her differences. Y provides for me a perspective that challenges my own, and an existence that not only consistently pushes the boundaries of my relationships, but an existence that is irreplaceable.
I’m so very grateful that we are friends, that I’ve never lived a life without her.
“I don’t think many childhood friends can beat 8 months. The last 26 and something years have been a wild ride and with so many changes, but you were always a constant & a constant support. I owe much of my childhood and my experiences to you - you were there oftentimes when I didn’t have parents, when I didn’t have anyone. No words to describe what that did for me. I really looked forward to playing every weekend and thank you for letting me join all your family trips. Honestly a sister to me. I’ve never lived in a world without you in it, and I’m prepared to continue carrying you through its challenges as best as I can. “
My greatest wish for the world, is for everyone to experience a friendship like ours.